Friends: How many ov us have them?

friends: ones we can depend on to humilate and ridicule us at every concievable opportunity. friends are good for lots ov things, but the humiliation and ridicule tip is definitely a friend strong point.

the other night i was hanging out at Two Bells with a couple ov lovely ladies and suddenly felt the urge to pee. as i'm not a huge fan ov bladder infections i decided to trot on over to the restroom and correct the problem. two fellows in the bar had the same idea and beat me to it, but one ov them turned back and went and sat down. 'that's odd,' thought me, 'there's multiple stalls.' so i go on in and sure enough find a free urinal and start doing that peeing thing i've been practicing for so long. sure enough, the guy who hesitated and sat down comes into the bathroom at that point, only to find every urinal full as well as the stall. 'sucker,' thought i, 'snoozing=losing!' boy was i ever wrong. this man was a winner!

suddenly there's a flash from behind me and the guy who i thought was waiting runs out ov the restroom and i hear an agonized groan from the stall. 'fucking digital cameras!' he yelled. 'and i had my "unh" face on!' he added. me and the other guy in the bathroom started cracking up. out ov sympathy, ov course. 'by the time you get out there it'll be emailed to at least half your friends,' the guy next to me said in an effort to soften the blow ov the obviously tragic experience. when i walked out ov the bathroom all that guys friends were huddled around a table looking at a picture ov their friend taking a crap and laughing uproariously. now those are friends.

children can be cruel, but it really takes and adult to get it right.