tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-209668602012-01-11T10:04:06.251-08:00Never underestimate the power of the scatterbrained.chaz defranzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08488862109893857663noreply@blogger.comBlogger201100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20966860.post-32332053056373479492008-06-24T17:11:00.000-07:002008-06-24T17:35:11.081-07:00

okay, while I finish writing this article you should watch this fifteen minute video to deeply understand my ire.So after watching that video you should have come to believe, as I myself do, that the owners of the Peacock Cafe have an interview process for their prospective head chefs that must go a little bit like this:"Have you cooked before?" 'A-yup.'"Hold this knife and cut something."'Okay,

chaz defranzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08488862109893857663noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20966860.post-73870332943664933482006-11-07T12:37:00.000-08:002006-11-12T11:50:25.169-08:00

I know the people who come to read this thing, or at least think that I do, personally. I have a readership that doesn't require me to take off my shoes to count it up. There may be the occasional random stopper-by, or the quite occasional recommendation regarding a particular article, but since I post with such irregularity I doubt if I have much of a 'following.' I may expound upon the

chaz defranzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08488862109893857663noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20966860.post-1162590529898924342006-11-03T12:53:00.000-08:002006-11-07T12:34:15.612-08:00

I thought that google music trends page, a page showing a weekly top listing of songs being listened to by gtalk users the world round, was one of the coolest apps in the world until i looked at it. After looking at the quite naturaly bland offerings on the "all genres, all countries" page I decided to head over to something really more up my alley, say, the all country listing for electronica.

chaz defranzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08488862109893857663noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20966860.post-1162509640145867352006-11-02T14:34:00.000-08:002006-11-07T12:34:15.442-08:00

As those of you who have hotly followed my meandering career path know, I am currently involved at making my dream job, cooking and catering for myself, paying me the huge gobs of cash I know it will. But alas, my friends, I tell you this today; for every dream job you have there are unforseen dream circumstances that may take that job away from you. To this end I have searched high and low to

chaz defranzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08488862109893857663noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20966860.post-1156797844281813212006-08-28T13:18:00.000-07:002006-11-07T12:34:15.338-08:00

i don't like posting about politics too much, i prefer to make my dissatisfaction with the current system known in more clandestine incindiary ways. the other reason i don't post too much about politics is that it's hard for me to not make revealing statements like the one i just made. but i'm posting this for a friend with whom i had this discussion because, as he put it, there are just too

chaz defranzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08488862109893857663noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20966860.post-1156403501059709202006-08-23T23:59:00.000-07:002006-11-07T12:34:15.138-08:00

i'm wrinting in all caps and everything. thank lord for spellcheck. here's a pic ov me drunk.

chaz defranzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08488862109893857663noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20966860.post-1156279173664245522006-08-22T13:26:00.000-07:002006-11-07T12:34:15.002-08:00

a reference to an obscure song that most ov you would more than likely hate. i don't. i think it's fun and carefree like a teenage girl with a new brand of tampon.So lately beth has been sick with a new mystery virus that's going around town that's alot like strep throat. no one panic unless that's really your bag, it seems rather harmless. it has, however, rendered beth so weak that our cat

chaz defranzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08488862109893857663noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20966860.post-1144177529075232102006-04-04T12:05:00.000-07:002006-11-07T12:34:14.816-08:00

friends: ones we can depend on to humilate and ridicule us at every concievable opportunity. friends are good for lots ov things, but the humiliation and ridicule tip is definitely a friend strong point.the other night i was hanging out at Two Bells with a couple ov lovely ladies and suddenly felt the urge to pee. as i'm not a huge fan ov bladder infections i decided to trot on over to the

chaz defranzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08488862109893857663noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20966860.post-1142267213832851732006-03-13T08:19:00.000-08:002006-11-07T12:34:14.495-08:00

the weirdest shit is showing up in my spam mail these days. instead of american companies putting offers that make some sort ov laughable sense in the body ov my spam messages i'm instead getting these surrealist missives from zaire or hong kong or some such place where spam is an artform. i put a few together and have them below. feel free to send in your own bizzare spams to this very spot.

chaz defranzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08488862109893857663noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20966860.post-1140820775576015052006-02-24T14:12:00.000-08:002006-11-07T12:34:14.416-08:00

i'm making sauce, red sauce. saucey sauce sauce sauce. better'n momma used to make, and momma made some damn fine sauce. i'm testing out different styles ov meatloaf for my catering business and i like to serve my meatloaf with a fine red sauce on top ov it with a little mozz. so hence the saucey sauciness what is the sauce what i'm saucing right fucking now. but i ain't sauced, oh no sir. just

chaz defranzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08488862109893857663noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20966860.post-1140031092489103802006-02-15T10:29:00.000-08:002006-11-07T12:34:14.328-08:00

yesterday was valentines day. whoop whoop! that's two big whoops for valentine's day! one whoop for killing trees to express childhood crushes, and another whoop for sugar-induced comas! they're what all the fashionable kids are having on the playground these days. instead ov going either ov those routes myself i opted to just tell my sweetie i loved her and make dinner for her and her mother.

chaz defranzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08488862109893857663noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20966860.post-1139254080313979642006-02-06T10:30:00.000-08:002006-11-07T12:34:14.245-08:00

so the gayest sporting event ever is over once again and the steelers won. if you are one ov those people who wants to get all outraged and technical and say the seahawks won, then tell it to the football commissioner cuz i so very much don't care. at least the weather is still nice and i have all ov my limbs and such, some little football game ain't gonna ruin my day. that is the job ov rain

chaz defranzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08488862109893857663noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20966860.post-1138214164114101422006-01-25T10:27:00.000-08:002006-11-07T12:34:14.016-08:00

my sweet baboo and i spent the morning trading 'you're so metro' lines back and forth and this is the list we came up with. metro being short for 'metrosexual' for all you nonhip cats out there. metrosexual as in being gay without the 'having sex with men' part, that is. as far as i can google it is the first list ov 'you're so metro' jokes on the internet, whatever that means. i'm so metro i

chaz defranzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08488862109893857663noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20966860.post-1138054836361948992006-01-23T14:03:00.000-08:002006-11-07T12:34:13.932-08:00

i'm stupid hyper today. like wayyyy yyyyyyyy yyyyyyyy yyyyyyyy yyyyyyyy yyyyy stupid hyper. so hyper i can't even stand it. so hyper that even though i'm gonna sand the joists down in the basement i'm pretty sure i could just use my teeth and get it done faster. so hyper i wish i could turn it down to eleven. stupid daniel talsky and his stupid incredible two hour massages. i blame you daniel

chaz defranzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08488862109893857663noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20966860.post-1137787676238860012006-01-20T11:29:00.000-08:002006-11-07T12:34:13.850-08:00

My lovely bride-to-be saw the first red-breasted robin of the year this morning! it was partially eviscerated on our bedroom floor and i think she stepped on it. ick. i was awakened by her saying 'oh my god! this is nasty' or something like that. i don't really remember cuz like i said i was asleep right before then. after that i just pretended to be asleep so that i didn't have to pick the

chaz defranzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08488862109893857663noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20966860.post-1137549441172711922006-01-17T16:54:00.000-08:002006-11-07T12:34:13.767-08:00

It's like rubbing an old penny with your nether juices until it gleams. I just finished officially moving in with the lovely, irrepressable, and sexually molestable, Beth Yockey. we're gonna get married and all that old sausage, but until then we get to sin sin sin while doing nothing at all! just breathing and walking around i get to infuriate christians, muslims, jews, all sorts of

chaz defranzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08488862109893857663noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20966860.post-1137532785311477152006-01-17T12:55:00.000-08:002006-11-07T12:34:13.683-08:00

I awoke this morning at 4 A. fucking M. to the insistent mews of our cat Galaxy 500, aka Lunchbox, now aka Mittagessenkasten. insistent early morning mews only mean one thing around this house: "I brought you a gift!" since stepping on an eviscerated vole first thing in the morning is not my idea ov a good wakeup i decided to take care ov whatever her gift was right away.Lunchbox has taken her

chaz defranzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08488862109893857663noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20966860.post-1137531259141519912006-01-17T12:24:00.000-08:002006-11-07T12:34:13.592-08:00

first off i would like to thanks the tempestuous bitch goddess that is in control ov seattle weather for making sunday the first break in the rain. thanks bitch goddess; i was so hung over that there was no way in hell i was going outside. even if you had decided to make it rain free money and LSD i was feeling so bad i couldn't have crawled outside even in my robe to fill my pockets and lick

chaz defranzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08488862109893857663noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20966860.post-1137369159033597882006-01-15T15:32:00.000-08:002006-11-07T12:34:13.512-08:00

holy hell my head hurts.why, do you ask? why? i'll tell you why. two simple words: manifest destiny. two more words: carte blanche. those are the names ov the drinks i decided it would be cute to create and then consume all evening. here's how you make them:carte blanche: a glass ov champagne with a shot ov maker's in it. tasty, but it totally kills the bubbles.manfest destiny: a glass ov

chaz defranzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08488862109893857663noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20966860.post-1137230182801414392006-01-14T01:12:00.000-08:002006-11-07T12:34:13.430-08:00

i'm gonna get maried to some chick i didn't meet on the internet. does that make me weird? i hope so. people have been calling me weird for years and i'm notreally sure why. i'm hoping that this one act ov nondesperate marriage can validate my being called weird wherte years ov taking lsd and then preaching to uninterested rednecks has failed. her name is beth yockey and i think she is just the

chaz defranzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08488862109893857663noreply@blogger.com2