i'm stupid hyper today. like wayyyy yyyyyyyy yyyyyyyy yyyyyyyy yyyyyyyy yyyyy stupid hyper. so hyper i can't even stand it. so hyper that even though i'm gonna sand the joists down in the basement i'm pretty sure i could just use my teeth and get it done faster. so hyper i wish i could turn it down to eleven. stupid daniel talsky and his stupid incredible two hour massages. i blame you daniel talsky! and i blame nice days, great sex, loving partners, new homes, parties, an overall satisfying lifestyle, and even the seattle seahawks. even the seahawks, yes yes. stupid seahawks with their going to the superbowl for the first time ever selves. the general elation you damn ballplayers have spread through this sleepy rain infested city has hit even those who don't give half a squirt ov liquid bodily waste about whether you win, lose, or all die in a flaming bus accident. stupid makng me happy and goofy against my will sports team.
and you, whichever ov my three to seven readers you are: I BLAME YOU. why must you all please me so? why why why? i like you all. that's why i write dumb shit for you. so you can laugh and be glad you're not this kind ov silly and have something to show your kids. that's right! show me to your kids, point, and say: "if you keep eating your boogers, eventually you'll poke a hole in your skull that'll make your brain rot. then you'll end up like him. yes, i know they're tasty. that's cuz we feed you well. just stop."
maybe, just maybe, it might kind ov be my fault. but no matter whos fault it is, i want to have set ov knobs implanted on my person so that i might modulate such feelings ov jitteryness. not that i don't love them, it's just that i get them so very often. an off switch might work, but with off switches you run the risk that someone might just not turn you back on. not that you'd know. you'd be off. also, if it was just a switch you'd be just as hyper as you were right before you or a dear friend who was sick ov your shit threw the switch. no, you'd have to reboot and you might lose any unsaved information. since i don't plan on ever being saved in the christian sense i risk losing quite a lot ov info.
i'm gonna go buy a sander now. it's just that my teeth kinda hurt already. i'm sorry if you read this, but not sorry enough to NOT hit the 'publish' button.
2 comments:
so, what we learned from this is:
a)you ate your boogers as a little kid
b) the tastiness of boogers is directly proportional to the tastiness of food eaten.
c) only christians should reboot.
This blog is FUNNY. Make more!
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