my sweet baboo and i spent the morning trading 'you're so metro' lines back and forth and this is the list we came up with. metro being short for 'metrosexual' for all you nonhip cats out there. metrosexual as in being gay without the 'having sex with men' part, that is. as far as i can google it is the first list ov 'you're so metro' jokes on the internet, whatever that means. i'm so metro i think that kind ov shit matters. feel free to send more.
you're so metro you won't order food that clashes with your outfit
you're so metro gay men ask you for fashion advice
you're so metro you have a different purse for every day of the week
you're so metro you had your armpits waxed
you're so metro dykes ask you out
you're so metro you listen to podcasts of 'the view' while you work out
you're so metro you know twelve different shades ov purple by name
you're so metro you have a purse-dog
you're so metro that you use the term metro
you're so metro the girls on 'sex in the city' wonder which one of them is you
you're so metro you're a real estate agent
you're so metro you joined weightwatchers
you're so metro you have kenneth cole's home number on speed dial
you're so metro you call it "american football"
you're so metro your purse dog has its own celphone
you're so metro your girlfriend calls you her "high maintenance bitch"
you're so metro you let her
you're so metro you host stitch & bitch
you're so metro you go out dancing at gay clubs to pick up chicks
you're so metro you know kirstie allie jokes
you're so metro you ask your girlfriend 'does this make me look fat?'
you're so metro you 'only eat good sushi'
you're so metro you drink double-tall-skinny-halfcalf lattes
you're so metro you can order a double-tall-skinny-halfcalf lattes with a straight face
you're so metro you don't believe in competitive games
you're so metro you get manipeds
you're so metro you use a tanning booth
you're so metro you're on a kickball team
you're so metro you listen to the shins
you're so metro you wouldn't take a job at trader joes because of the shirts
you're so metro you think kelly clarkson is underappreciated
you're so metro you use dish as a verb
you're so metro you have an 80s dance favorites playlist on your ipod
you're so metro you think in LOLSpeak
you're so metro you have a favorite powerpuff girl
you're so metro you have Mr.Metro@gmail.com(i checked: it's taken!)
you're so metro your closet has a revolving door
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3 comments:
OK - some more general
"you're so metro" lines...
...you use the phrase, "I have a total platonic crush on you" to another man.
...you go shoe shopping with your pals when you're stressed out.
And some specific, "Scott, you're so metro..." lines.
...you say 'that's not pink, it's tangerine with a hint of coral!'
...you suggest painting the foyer a "kind of light strawberry sherbet" color.
...you enjoy the bridal bizarre more than any of the women there.
More...
You're so metro you say "you go, boy!" with a straight face.
You're so metro you coordinated your vespa to match your glasses.
You're so metro you take a bus pass? I think I'm in the wrong line here.
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