My lovely bride-to-be saw the first red-breasted robin of the year this morning! it was partially eviscerated on our bedroom floor and i think she stepped on it. ick. i was awakened by her saying 'oh my god! this is nasty' or something like that. i don't really remember cuz like i said i was asleep right before then. after that i just pretended to be asleep so that i didn't have to pick the nasty thing up and cart it to the trash. when i heard beth say 'i don't think i can do this' i covered my head and pretended to be asleep even harder than ever! i hope she doesn't read this post or the jig is up for me. whatever that means. what does that mean?
i was honestly expecting our cat, lunchbox, to keep in her vein ov bringing us human food, but it seems that ship has sailed and we are back to the world ov increasingly varied wildlife. since i expected her to bring crackers next i hope she at least named it crackers before she killed it. given its size i suspect that she mistook it for a chicken and expected us to fry it up for her. it was fucking big, bigger than a game hen but not as big as a capon, with apparently enough feathers on it to be able to decorate most ov the bedroom and still look quite downy. lunchbox kept following me around this morning looking at me and mewling like 'when does the frying begin? i don't hear no sizzlin! don't forget the rosemary!' i should have never introduced her to the gentle majesty that is my fried chicken. luckily even though she does seem to be smart for a cat she was fooled by a can ov wet food.
poor little robin. i'm feeding lunchbox steak from now on in the hopes that she'll bring home a cow, but only if she leaves it on beth's side ov the bedroom.
oh yeah, here's what "the jig is up" means. sorry for all the canuckspeak, but you do get to find out there are at least three canadian dictionaries. whoodathunkit?
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4 comments:
hell naw, i didn't step on it! i saw some grey-shaped-blurs on the floor, and thought, golly, i better put on my glasses and turn on the light before i put my dainty leetle toeses down there! And I TOTALLY KNEW YOU WEREN'T SLEEPING. you've got a set to your head when you don't want to move it. I can't describe it very well, but, i can sense it, OH Yah.
Oh, and for the record, Scott DIDN'T see the bird. he just tunnelled his head into the pillows. The bird was nearly as heavy as lunchbox, though, it looked like it had enjoyed a happy life - it was fat! But newly dead. And I don't think I'd like fried robin.
look, you don't need to tell all six ov my readers that kind ov nizoise, it ruins the magic! truth is totally subjective and all that rot. besides, even though i told you that i didn't see it, how can you really be sure that i didn't take a peek in the trash can at the damned thing? i'm a damnable liar and everyone knows it. all i'm saying is that my blog pic shows someone who is wide awake, and your show someone still in bed. so there!
you have 6 readers? I'm totally jealous!
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